Getting Along With Your Parents

Fighting with your parents

When you’re young, you may find that you are fighting with your parents about everything and anything. This is not unusual. As a child, your parents did everything for you and that was okay. But now that you are older, you can do a lot of things for yourself. As you age, you begin to have your own opinions and ideas, and your parents might not be ready to handle this yet. It is a big shock for them to see a whole new person grow out of the child you once were.

The adjustments that both you and your parents go through during your adolescent years cause the fighting. You feel grown-up enough to do something; they feel the opposite. Also, your parents’ first instinct is to protect you. So while you may not feel like you are doing anything wrong, they may dislike a few of your friends, or not want you to go to a party where everyone will be drinking, when they are just trying to protect you from things you can’t see or understand.

How can I deal with my parents?

  • Do not yell and insult them – this only makes you look immature, and they will be less likely to understand what you want
  • Try to reason with them logically to prove you are mature enough to do what you want
  • If you feel a negative change forming in your relationship, act on it. Ask them to talk about it even if they haven’t said anything.

Make a deal – for example, you want to stay out two hours later. Your parents want you to get an A on your next math test. Make a deal that if you get the A, you can stay out later. It’s a win-win situation!

(references: KidsHealth, Center for Young Women’s Health (Children’s Hospital Boston)